Embracing My Truth: The Journey to Self-Acceptance
Hey Booklovers!
Today, I want to open up about something incredibly personal: my journey to self-acceptance as a gay man. It’s a story I’ve held close to my heart, but one I believe is important to share—because maybe, just maybe, it’ll resonate with someone who needs to hear it.
What Was It Like Growing Up Gay in the 1990s?
Let me paint a picture: it’s the 1990s, and being gay is not something people talked about unless it was to mock, insult, or judge. There was no TikTok, no Instagram, no visible queer community in my world. The closest I came to seeing someone “like me” on TV was a punchline in a sitcom.
In school, the word “gay” was a weapon. Kids called me “gay” long before I even knew what it meant. It wasn’t a descriptor—it was an insult, hurled with venom and cruelty. By the time I started to understand my own feelings, I had already absorbed the message loud and clear: being gay was something to be ashamed of, something disgusting.
How Did Bullying Affect My Self-Acceptance?
To say I was bullied is an understatement. My school life was a minefield of taunts, laughter behind my back, and outright exclusion. Every time someone spat the word “gay” at me, it felt like a slap. I didn’t know how to fight back, because deep down, I feared they were right. Bullying didn’t just hurt—it shaped how I saw myself. I started to believe that I was broken, that my feelings were wrong. I tried to shrink myself, to disappear, to be someone—anyone—else.
It took years to undo that damage.
When Did I Realize That Being Gay Wasn’t Wrong?
There wasn’t a single moment of revelation—it was a slow, painful process. It started when I discovered stories of people who were unapologetically themselves. Authors, musicians, activists—they became my lifeline. When I finally admitted to myself that I was gay, it wasn’t just a “coming out” moment; it was a reckoning. I had to unlearn all the lies I’d been told about what it meant to be queer.
What Helped Me Embrace My Truth?
1. Writing Saved Me
Writing became my escape, my sanctuary, and ultimately, my voice. I poured my pain, confusion, and hope into stories. It helped me process my emotions and imagine a world where being gay wasn’t something to hide.
2. Finding My People
As I got older, I found my community—people who saw me, accepted me, and celebrated me. Their love and support were the antidote to years of shame.
3. Representation Matters
When I saw queer characters in books, movies, and TV shows, it was life-changing. It made me realize that our stories deserve to be told. This is why I write LGBTQ+ fiction—to give others the representation I so desperately needed.
Why Is Visibility So Important?
Visibility is everything. It’s the difference between feeling alone and knowing you’re part of something bigger. It’s why Pride Month matters, why queer authors matter, and why sharing our stories is a revolutionary act. As a gay male author, my mission is to write stories that show the beauty, complexity, and resilience of queer lives. Because every time someone picks up a book and sees themselves in its pages, it chips away at the shame and isolation that so many of us have felt.
What’s My Message to You?
If you’re struggling to embrace your truth, know this: you are not alone. You are not broken. The world may try to convince you otherwise, but there is nothing wrong with being exactly who you are. My journey to self-acceptance was long and difficult, but it made me stronger. It taught me that there is power in living authentically. And it’s a power I want to share with the world—through my words, my stories, and my truth.
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Stay bookish and fabulous,
Felix
